I love school and I love learning. I always told my students that my dream job would be to get paid to go to college and learn for the rest of my life. Like, seriously, I’d just keep taking classes and earning degrees. Not for the titles or the accomplishment, but for the knowledge. But since my dream job of a lifetime student doesn’t exist, I did the next best thing and became a teacher. I’m a great student- I like to read and study. I listen in class and take notes and enthusiastically absorb the information being presented to me.
You know where I’m not such an enthusiastic learner? In the school of life. Sometimes I forget that I already am a lifelong learner- I just don’t embrace that title the same way I would when getting a formal education. Why? Because in college, there’s choices. You get to choose your classes and your schedule. If you don’t like a class, or a teacher, you can just drop the class and move on. If you don’t like your major, you can switch it to something else. Heck, you can change schools completely if you want to. In college, you have control of your learning. That’s not the case in the University of Life.
At the School of Hard Knocks, you really don’t get to choose your lessons. Life brings what life brings. You don’t get to pick and choose your experiences based on your preferences. You don’t get to schedule challenges for when they will suit you or plan adversity for when you are prepared to deal with it. Of course, you do have some control in life. You can walk away from people, places, and things that you don’t like, just as you can walk away from classes or teachers you don’t like in college. But here’s the thing: even though you may walk away from things in life, it doesn’t mean that the learning is over. In college, you can drop a class and you don’t ever have to deal with that class again if you don’t want to. But at the School of Hard Knocks, things have a way of following you and popping up again and again until you do deal with them. You gonna learn today, or you gonna learn tomorrow, but you ARE gonna learn.
At the University of Life, you’re going to keep taking Self-Worth 101 or Boundaries for Beginners or Advanced Assertiveness, regardless of whether you sign up for them or not. You’re gonna keep taking what you need to take until you learn the skills you need to learn and life graduates you on to the next thing. Because there’s always a next thing, right? In life, there are no graduation ceremonies, no clear delineation of an ending. There are no 2 year degrees or 4 year degrees or accelerated learning pathways. At the School of Hard Knocks, you are enrolled from birth to death. If you are paying attention, you’ll see that life is one long course, filled with lessons and knowledge and opportunities for growth.
As much as I love school and formal learning, I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always love the education I receive from the School of Hard Knocks. Because life is hard and life is full of knocks. We get knocked around, knocked back and knocked down. But as long as we get up, as long as we keep going, as long as we gain some knowledge and push forward, we’ll never flunk out of the University of Life. There are no grades in life, no honors lists, no awards of distinction. If you are living and learning and doing all you can to make the best of the education you are receiving, then you are at the top of your class. You are excelling! The School of Hard Knocks has a spot for each and every one of us. It is up to us what we do with it.
For me, I think it’s time that I approach the School of Hard Knocks with the same vigor and enthusiasm that I approach formal education. Now, don’t get me wrong, college is certainly not easy. It took me many years to get my bachelor’s degree, partly because I didn’t know what I wanted to major in for quite some time. But I kept going and stuck with it because I knew I would get to where I needed to be eventually. Years later I went back and got my teaching credential and that was also no walk in the park. The most challenging for me was a few years ago when I got a second credential in special education. That was super taxing because I was teaching and going to school at the same time! But despite the difficulties I experienced in each of my higher education experiences, I never thought about quitting because I knew what I was working towards. I knew my degree and credentials would open up new opportunities for me. They would help me expand my life and to use my skills and talents in fulfilling ways.
I wonder what it would be like to have that same level of determination and focus in life? To see myself as a lifelong student of The School of Hard Knocks, and be prepared to tackle every experience, both positive and negative, as opportunities to learn. To remind myself that I am always working towards something, whether that be managing my emotions, communicating my needs, letting go of control, having realistic expectations, changing habits, etc. And then I have to remember that the learning never stops. When one lesson comes to an end, the next one begins. And some lessons come back around more than once. For some things in life, I may need a little spiral review to help me remember what I learned before. Or a previous lesson may circle back to me because I’m now in a place to go deeper with my learning.
The journey continues and the lessons keep coming as long as I have breath, as long as I am here on this Earth. I didn’t sign up for this School of Hard Knocks, none of us did. Whether I like it or not, I’m on the roster, so I guess all I can do is try to be the best student I can be and stay committed to the process. In this season of my life, the curriculum is challenging but I’m learning a lot. In Part 2, I’ll share more about what life is teaching me, lessons I’m still trying to master and how I’m growing, little by little. To my fellow students of life: I hope you continue to learn and grow as well. I hope you remember to celebrate the small successes and to always be proud of how far you have come.