On Love- Love and Coronavirus

Is it just me, or do we all need a little more love right now? No, make that A LOT more love right now. There’s plenty of fear, death, sadness and tragedy going around. We don’t need more of that. We need more love and compassion. More kindness and care. More gentleness and understanding. The Coronavirus has taken so many lives and for those of us still here, it has completely upended our lives. Life feels unpredictable and shaky. It’s hard to get our footing, keep our heads on straight and find a way to get through these uncertain times. There is some shared experience as we navigate Coronavirus, social distancing and shelter in place. But as much as we are all experiencing the same event, many of our personal experiences are drastically different. Each of us has a unique reality through which we are experiencing this pandemic.

Some people are essential workers and have to continue working despite the risks and dangers they are being exposed to everyday. Some people are working from home and navigating new terrain, such as distance learning for teachers. Some people have lost their jobs and are having to rely on a very unreliable unemployment system right now. There are many levels of fear that we have to deal with. Will we or our loved ones get sick? If so, will we survive? Will there be enough money to pay the bills and put food on the table? When this is all said and done, how will we catch up on the bills that we’ve been able to forego? Will we survive the mental health aspects of this pandemic, especially those of us living alone? What will the future look like? Will we ever get back to a sense of “normalcy?” Certainly I could go on with the questions. Nothing is certain right now and really, people can only speculate about what’s next.

We are being bombarded with opinions and predictions everywhere we turn- on the news, on social media, and amongst family and friends. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with these discussions but too much exposure will just feed our fears. It’s okay to take a break from it all and just focus on loving those around us. Some people right now just desperately need to hear a kind voice, a kind word, or receive a kind deed. Some people need to know that they are not alone in this- that someone out there cares enough to pick up the phone and call or send a card, flowers or a meal to show they are being thought of. Another way to show a little love right now is through volunteering and helping those in need. Many churches are doing food drives on a large scale right now, and many volunteers are needed. What a wonderful way to show some love, even to strangers. To help them get the resources they need to make it through these difficult times.

Of course, not everyone might feel comfortable going out and volunteering right now and that is okay. This is why we need love during this pandemic, because what one person is comfortable with, another person might not be. We can’t put our expectations on others, and others can’t put their expectations on us. Some people are content staying at home and will continue to do so until they feel it is safe to do otherwise. Other people are beginning to feel restless and looking for some reprieve from this shelter in place. I know that some restrictions are being lifted and we will continue to see more lifted in the coming months. Let’s not be too harsh on those who decide to venture out when they’re given the green light to do so. Maybe they have weighed the consequences heavily, and have decided that for their own peace of mind, they need to safely go out into the world and interact with others again. Many people are sheltering in place alone, and I know from experience how harrowing that can be, especially with a history of anxiety and depression. Some of these people, myself included, will be grateful for opportunities to be outside of our homes.

I hope that we can be compassionate towards these people, even if they are making choices that we would not necessarily make. And on the flip side, those of us who are ready to venture out must remain understanding of those who choose to stay home, even when they have the option to leave. Just because they are not making the same decision as us, doesn’t make them wrong.  Ultimately, I don’t think there is a clear line marking right or wrong in a situation like this. As long as people are following laws, being safe, wearing masks and practicing social distancing, then we have to give people room to make the decisions they feel comfortable with. And even when people are doing things that we don’t agree with, things that might even make us angry, we might take a moment to breathe deep and choose to show love and compassion over the annoyance we feel. Because ultimately, people will hear us better through a lens of love.

Also, people react very differently when fear is at play. We might see some people acting like Coronavirus isn’t a big deal and maybe they are making questionable choices as a result. But I guarantee you that just because they aren’t acting afraid, they are. I would find it unlikely that during a world pandemic, people haven’t felt some degree of fear at some point. The thing is, some people deal with their fear by denying it. Others may be on the other side, being overly cautious and protective. But again, there’s no right or wrong. There’s just survival and trying to get through something very traumatic, whatever shape or form that takes for each of us.

More love, please. More compassion and understanding. More lifting each other up, rather than criticizing and tearing each other down. More kindness, please. Even if you feel you need to talk to someone about the choices they are making, do it kindly and with all the love you can muster. I’m telling you, there are plenty of “follow the rules” posts on social media. There is plenty of information about the devastating effects of the virus on the news. I hope more of us rise up with a message of hope and love. I hope more of us are an example of love when we frequent the grocery store and other essential businesses. I hope we pray for those we disagree with and let God work in their hearts. I hope more of us stand firm in our faith in Jesus, encouraging and helping others to endure this storm.

This is not a competition to see who handles the Coronavirus pandemic better. We have all faltered and stumbled our way through this and we will continue to do so. We are navigating new territory and learning as we go. It’s hard enough as it is. We don’t need to be judging, criticizing and comparing. We just need more love. A LOT more love. I pray that our hearts would be filled with compassion for all people- the ones we agree with, the ones we disagree with, the ones we feel have lost their minds. We don’t know what they are going through. We don’t know what they are experiencing during this time. Even when people say they are doing fine, we can’t know for sure. We can’t know the pain, fear, loneliness, or frustration they are truly feeling.

We are, at the moment, all powerless against the Coronavirus. We can’t do much but stay at home and pray that this too passes. But even within these limits, we are not powerless to show and give love. I hope that we all find our own unique ways to love on others. And as you pour more love out, don’t forget to portion some for yourself. You also need to give yourself love, kindness and compassion so that you can get through this pandemic one day at a time. Some days you may be productive and other days you may not be. You might set goals that you never get to. You might watch more Netflix than you ever thought possible. Be gentle with yourself. Some people may have adjusted to shelter in place, others never will. We’ve got to take our expectations of how people “should” be dealing with all this and throw them out the window. Let’s replace those expectations with, what else? LOVE.

When we get to the other side of this, I’m certain people will forget all the rules and regulations and eventually get back to their lives pre-pandemic. But I’m also certain that people won’t forget the moments where kindness and compassion were shown. They won’t forget the love and warmth given to them. They won’t forget kind words. They won’t forget those who were by their side, even from a distance. They won’t forget those who encouraged them to keep hope alive. They won’t forget those who helped them stand firm in their faith. But most of all, they will never forget the love that surrounded them and carried them through.

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope, love. But the greatest of these is love.