Well, I’ve been wanting to write for awhile but just so much is going on in the world right now. As I think about “life” all that I can really think about is how very different life looks today than it did one month ago. The Coronavirus is out there and our best protection against it at the moment is social distancing. Most states, including mine, have implemented shelter in place orders, so we are all staying home unless we need to go out for essential items. Life is now lived within the confines of our homes. Many of us are now working from home as well, which is of course a blessing, considering many have lost jobs or have to go in to work despite the risk of exposure to this virus. If we do have contact with people, we must stay 6 feet away.
People are socially isolated and disconnected. Man, what I wouldn’t give for a hug right now. One thing I desperately miss is getting a massage- and it’s not about the relaxation or pampering- it’s about deeply missing human touch. Schools are closed and teachers and students have been catapulted into distance learning, trying to make the best of a terrible situation. Many businesses are closed, some temporarily and some for good. The economy is suffering and unemployment has skyrocketed. Zoom meetings are the new normal, whether for work or just keeping in touch with family and friends. People who are dying, are dying alone and families are left grieving in isolation, unable to properly bury and memorialize their loved ones.
Yes, life is very different now than a few weeks ago. The whole world has been forced to take a collective pause. We are living through a global pandemic. The magnitude of this situation is something many of us have never experienced in our lifetime. We don’t like it and it’s very uncomfortable. But it’s happening. It is here and we can’t ignore it. So what can we do? I’m not here to tell you all the things you’ve already heard. You know to stay home as much as humanly possible. You know about social distancing, hand washing, and mask wearing. Ninety percent of what we hear and see on the news right now is related to the Coronavirus, whether it’s facts and figures, precautions to take, speculations about the trajectory of the disease, thoughts about when states can reopen, and anything and everything in between.
I want to talk more about what can we do with this collective pause. What can we do, when so much feels out of our control? We can take this time that has been given to us and do a little inventory of our lives. When nearly all external factors have been eliminated, it’s a pretty good indication that it’s a good time to look within and focus on internal factors. Check in with yourself- how are you doing emotionally, mentally and spiritually? In what areas are you struggling? What can you do to address those things?
If you are struggling emotionally, as many of us are, what can be done? One thing about emotions is that they cannot be ignored. If we try to ignore them and hope the emotions will go away, they only dig deeper and hunker down for the long haul, often leading to psychosomatic symptoms and general feelings of unease and unrest. Even though we are socially distanced from each other, we have to talk about how we are feeling. Keeping our emotions inside gives them too much power over our lives. We have to air our feelings out in order to take the air out of our feelings. Find a safe person you can talk to during this time and share how you feel without censoring yourself.
Feelings aren’t rational and don’t have to make sense. Just acknowledge what you feel so they don’t hold you back. Personally, I vacillate between being very grateful to still have a job and an income and hating distance learning. I hate that I have to track down students who are missing assignments when I don’t know what their situation is or what they might be facing during this time. I find myself very unmotivated to work, while still feeling blessed to have work to do. I feel resentful that the Coronavirus has taken away my ability to see family and friends, and has made it very difficult to plan for the future. I know I’m blessed to have a roof over my head, but if I’m honest, I’m getting tired of looking at these walls and at times the space feels suffocating. Some days, I feel irritable and the smallest things get on my nerves. But these feelings don’t have the final word in my life. Getting them out feels good, but then it is my choice how to proceed.
Right now I am trying to give more focus to the positives, because there are many when I choose to look for them. As mentioned, I am definitely blessed to have a job and financial security right now. But my job also gives me some structure to my day, which I desperately need. So even though I don’t love everything I have to do for work, it is a good thing that I have something to do every day. A lot of unstructured time is just not good for me. I have a safe place to shelter in and food to eat. My basic necessities are covered, which I know is more than many people can say right now. I can’t see my family and friends but we can still stay connected with phone calls, texts and video chats. The good news is that I’m not completely cut off from loved ones and the rest of the world. My life has become restricted but it’s certainly not like I’m in solitary confinement. No matter how much I want to convince myself that it’s that bad, it’s really not. I can see that when I get my feelings out and am able to focus on the bigger picture.
If you are struggling mentally, what can be done? We have to be intentional about reining our thoughts in and not getting too far ahead of ourselves. Right now many people are experiencing fear, worry and anxiety. Their thoughts are running a mile a minute, trying to think of ways to protect themselves and their loved ones. For some, they are trying to figure out how to make ends meet- how they are going to pay the rent and put food on the table. Young people are thinking about all the rights of passages they are going to miss out on- things like proms, college visits, and graduation. We are all thinking about when this will end, how we will rebuild, and what life will look like on the other side.
Yes, some of our worries are very immediate such as having enough money for food. If you are in this situation, I encourage you to reach out for help. I know so many people who are ready and willing to step up and help people in need. So many churches and schools are providing free meals and groceries. These are the times when we come together collectively as humans to look out for one another. Some of our worries are not so immediate- we are simply looking ahead, trying to figure out what’s coming next or anticipating all we will miss out on in the coming months. I understand this feeling. I am trying to make personal life decisions about my job and my living situation, and it is very difficult to do this when everything is on pause. I could drive myself crazy trying to figure things out, while continuing to run into a brick wall at every turn. I’ve come to accept that there’s just nothing to be figured out right now.
As much as you possibly can, bring your attention to today, and today only. Focus on how to bring some joy into your life, and how to bring a smile to someone else’s face. Acts of kindness are never on pause, we just have to be more creative in how we deliver them. If we are going to be expending mental energy, let’s allow it to be used to uplift ourselves and others, rather than trying to solve a problem out of our control or trying to predict an unpredictable future. We are in uncharted territory. There are many answers we do not have. But we do know how to love and serve others.
What if we stopped spending so much time focused on the news that is feeding our fears and negative thoughts? What if we took that time and did something nice for ourselves or someone else? When our thoughts are getting away from us, let’s look for positive outlets to change our perspectives. Play a game with your kids or whoever you live with. Go outside and take a walk. Read a good book. Learn some new jokes. Try a new recipe. Give someone a call. Send someone a meal. Volunteer at a food bank if you feel comfortable. Try to limit your screen time as much as possible and find creative ways to pass the time- paint, draw, journal, dance, sing. Do some of the things you never do, simply because you can right now. You might not feel like doing a lot of these things, but I say give them a try anyway. Thankfully, once we start doing something positive, our feelings tend to catch up.
You have so gotten to the heart of the matter with a ray of sunshine and hope. Looking forward to that big hug!!