NOTHING precludes you from love. Nothing PRECLUDES you from love. Nothing precludes YOU from LOVE. Do you believe this? I want to make sure we get this, really get this into our minds, spirits, and hearts, myself included. For myself, I am referring to romantic love but this can apply to any kind of love. I have finally gotten to a place where I do a pretty good job of receiving love from myself, my family, my friends and God. But as I’ve started dating in this past year, I’ve found myself crashing into this brick wall around romantic love. For some reason, I have this narrative in my mind that maybe it’s just not for me. Maybe I’m not meant to be in a relationship. Maybe I’m not capable of being in a relationship. Maybe I can’t be in a relationship because of x, y or z.
Because I struggle with anxiety, and at times depression, that little inner voice in my head tells me that I’ll be a burden to someone, that I won’t be able to love at my best, that I might be too much or not enough. This narrative in my mind tells me that I haven’t found love because I don’t look a certain way, or weigh a certain amount, or dress in a certain style. The story of lies that have been spun in my mind can list all the things, big and little, that preclude me from love: gray hair, thinning hair, hormonal imbalances, premature ovarian failure, my past, my trust issues, my insecurities, and oh yeah, that anxiety and depression I mentioned earlier. But lately I’ve been talking back to that negative voice and I’ve been honestly asking myself, why should any of those things preclude me from love? Why do I think that my struggles are so unique that they somehow make me the only person on earth that can’t be in a loving, long term relationship?
I feel like God has been whispering this to my heart lately- nothing precludes you from love- and I’m finally embracing it. Why should anxiety count me out of love? I do worry a little more than I should, overthink things a tad and struggle to give up control in my life. I don’t think my feelings of anxiety lead me to be my best self, but they don’t make me a terrible person either. I’m just a work in progress, learning this art of surrender and letting go. But my anxiety also goes hand in hand with some great qualities- I’m caring, sensitive, empathetic and observant. So maybe I care a little too much sometimes. Now that I think about it, I’d rather be with that person than the one who doesn’t care enough.
I’m tired of counting myself out of love because of my flaws, mistakes, and insecurities. Nothing precludes you from love either. Not an illness, a disease, a disability, your height, your weight, your hair color, the shape of your nose, where you came from, what you struggle with, your past, mental health issues, or any single thing else! We were all built for love- to give it and receive it. We can fill up on love in many different ways but if romantic love is something you want, like me, then go after it! You don’t have to wait until x, y, or z gets handled. X, Y and Z are what make you uniquely you!
Somebody out there is going to love the heck out of you because of your flaws, scars and struggles. It might take a while to find that person but don’t stop looking. I’m telling that to myself because sometimes I feel like getting off the merry go round of dating. I feel like I’m not getting anywhere at times, but you know what, I’m growing. I know I’m growing because I’m questioning these false narratives in my head. For the first time in a long, long time I believe I deserve love, just the way I am. It’s no longer the belief that I’ll find love when I overcome my anxiety and depression or when I lose a certain amount of weight. I believe that I can find love, right now, in the middle of my mess, in the middle of my journey. I can find love as I grow, as I mature, as I become more of the woman I want to be. I don’t have to be perfect, or even close to perfection to find love.
God doesn’t expect us to be perfect to come to Him and receive His love. So why would He expect us to have it all together just to be with another imperfect human being? That’s not what He expects at all and we shouldn’t expect it of ourselves either. All we need to do is be honest, vulnerable and transparent about where we are at and allow God to bring someone into our life that can do the same and whom we can learn with, grow with, and allow the love to flow freely both ways. As I talk about God, I’d like to mention that nothing precludes you from God’s love either. There is nothing in your past, nothing you have said or done, no mistake that you have made, no law that you have broken, no sin you have committed that can keep you from God’s love. He loves you just where you are, right now, just as you are.
I pray that if you know God’s love that you would know it even deeper and that you would see evidence of God’s love working in your life in new ways. I pray that if you don’t know God’s love, today would be the day that changes. I pray that you would know His love, grace and mercy on a personal level and experience the power of God’s ability to transform, restore and heal. I pray that if you need more love in your life, in general, that God would bring people to you who are filled to the brim and overflowing with love and that they would pour into your life. If you are looking for that special, romantic love, I pray that you have the patience to wait for the one who will love you as God loves you, right where you are and just as you are. I pray that you find the one who loves your strengths and your weaknesses, and always lifts you up and encourages you no matter what you are going through.
I hope that from this day forward you will remember that nothing precludes you from love. Nothing. Nope, not that either. Anything you can think of, you can put it to rest. Love is for you, as much as it is for me. Let’s stop counting ourselves out and open ourselves to the love we want. Nothing precludes you from love. I hope you believe it.
1 Corinthians 13:7
[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:13
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
Beautiful